- Commentary: To that I say fuh-you, fuh off and, of coarse, go fuh yourself.
A few days ago I was discussing my daughter's schooling with a patient. The patient had spent her career in the county school district and she seemed an excellent resource. I pointed out that my daughter was struggling with reading and reading comprehension. Her math scores where impressively high and she was helping the boys with their math problems, but her reading was behind. I momentarily spoke that it is odd that a mid-elementary school girl would struggle with reading, but not math. I have always learned, through neurology courses and books, that boys and girls are about even, as it comes to math and English, at 6 years of age but as they get older they tend to gravitate toward, girls: English and boys: math.
- Commentary: I'll wait as you create your preconceived notion, my patient certainly did. Understand, I have read numerous books and taken even more classes about neurological development, developmental delays, and general neurology, with regard to examination and function. I've read books authored by John Medina, PhD., Dr. Micheal Hall, Dr. Drew Rubin, Dr. Martin Rosen, R. John Leigh, Stanley Hoppenfield, and many others.
I was hit like a ton of bricks. I did not know how to respond. In a flash, I realized I could disagree, argue my innocence. I could backtrack or side-step. I did not know what to do. She just stood there looking at me waiting for my response, to which I said, "Sure. Sure, I'm a sexist." I hated saying that and I despise her for putting me in that position. I have been chewing on that filth all week and I am angry about it. It is not just that I said it, it is that I said it to "save a sale," to "keep the patient happy" and to "mind the peace." I did not provide my honesty, my integrity...
- Commentary: That's my fault and I own that shit. I have to, and I have to live with the fact that I let myself get cornered and I did not stick up for myself.
My mother is a feminist, my father completely supports feminism, my wife is a feminist, I've aunts who are feminists and my sisters-in-laws are strong independent women. I have two daughters and I want for them to be strong independent women who do not rely on anyone. I want my daughters to build strong productive relationships with men who honor their strength and independence. Much like I do with my wife.
I am not some sort of latent sexist. It is ridiculous. At what point do we just relax? At what point do we stop looking with a magnifying glass for the evils in people? At what point has it gone too far? When do we realize that there needs to be some fuh-ing balance? and while I am on this tangent, at what point do we allow the men who have done some wrong a chance to redeem themselves? At what point do we allow it to be ok to a be a fuh-ing human?
I am not making an appeal to pardon the wicked. I am merely saying that while you are conversing with a good man, perhaps you could dial back the traps, accusations and verbal condemnation.
As you can read, this patient left me with a great deal of disdain and turbulent anger. I am considering ending our doctor-patient relationship. I am afraid that I cannot treat her objectively, right now. In the end, though, I will move past it. This entry will help move that process along. The next time the patient comes in, I will great them with my usual gregarious self, but I will be diminished.
- Commentary: Perhaps, at the end of this, my point is that we all need to be careful what we say and how we say it. You may never know how your words cut into the soft underside of someones soul. You may never know the malcontent you breath life into someone else. The worst thing is that you may never know that someone will hide their true-self from you because of your callousness or thoughtlessness.
DocBDC
