Sexist? Let's be careful

I was going to refrain from posting this for a few reasons. One, I do not like calling individuals out (not that I am going to name names, but I do not like getting specific). Two, this tangentially concerns the "me too" movement and I have learned one thing above all else, "do not mess with 'me too,' do not even breathe. It is still new and people like me, nobodies, usually end up as collateral damage." Three, there is no way that I walk away from this without having someone agree with the accusation against me...

• Commentary: To that I say fuh-you, fuh off and, of coarse, go fuh yourself.

A few days ago I was discussing my daughter's schooling with a patient. The patient had spent her career in the county school district and she seemed an excellent resource. I pointed out that my daughter was struggling with reading and reading comprehension. Her math scores where impressively high and she was helping the boys with their math problems, but her reading was behind. I momentarily spoke that it is odd that a mid-elementary school girl would struggle with reading, but not math. I have always learned, through neurology courses and books, that boys and girls are about even, as it comes to math and English, at 6 years of age but as they get older they tend to gravitate toward, girls: English and boys: math.

• Commentary: I'll wait as you create your preconceived notion, my patient certainly did. Understand, I have read numerous books and taken even more classes about neurological development, developmental delays, and general neurology, with regard to examination and function. I've read books authored by John Medina, PhD., Dr. Micheal Hall, Dr. Drew Rubin, Dr. Martin Rosen, R. John Leigh, Stanley Hoppenfield, and many others.

I mentioned to my patient that everyone is different with varying skills I did not mean to imply... She cut me off and said, "Sexist. You are a sexist."


I was hit like a ton of bricks. I did not know how to respond. In a flash, I realized I could disagree, argue my innocence. I could backtrack or side-step. I did not know what to do. She just stood there looking at me waiting for my response, to which I said, "Sure. Sure, I'm a sexist." I hated saying that and I despise her for putting me in that position. I have been chewing on that filth all week and I am angry about it. It is not just that I said it, it is that I said it to "save a sale," to "keep the patient happy" and to "mind the peace." I did not provide my honesty, my integrity...

• Commentary: That's my fault and I own that shit. I have to, and I have to live with the fact that I let myself get cornered and I did not stick up for myself.

My mother is a feminist, my father completely supports feminism, my wife is a feminist, I've aunts who are feminists and my sisters-in-laws are strong independent women. I have two daughters and I want for them to be strong independent women who do not rely on anyone. I want my daughters to build strong productive relationships with men who honor their strength and independence. Much like I do with my wife.

I am not some sort of latent sexist. It is ridiculous. At what point do we just relax? At what point do we stop looking with a magnifying glass for the evils in people? At what point has it gone too far? When do we realize that there needs to be some fuh-ing balance? and while I am on this tangent, at what point do we allow the men who have done some wrong a chance to redeem themselves? At what point do we allow it to be ok to a be a fuh-ing human?

I am not making an appeal to pardon the wicked. I am merely saying that while you are conversing with a good man, perhaps you could dial back the traps, accusations and verbal condemnation.

As you can read, this patient left me with a great deal of disdain and turbulent anger. I am considering ending our doctor-patient relationship. I am afraid that I cannot treat her objectively, right now. In the end, though, I will move past it. This entry will help move that process along. The next time the patient comes in, I will great them with my usual gregarious self, but I will be diminished.

• Commentary: Perhaps, at the end of this, my point is that we all need to be careful what we say and how we say it. You may never know how your words cut into the soft underside of someones soul. You may never know the malcontent you breath life into someone else. The worst thing is that you may never know that someone will hide their true-self from you because of your callousness or thoughtlessness.

As always, thank you for reading and much love,
DocBDC

It was about... But now it's about...

Ok. This is going to read as a bit strange, but I have moved past this subject matter and I do not want to dwell on it anymore.

My original topic was about the "open relationship", the polyamorous, or multi-partner relationships. I follow Aubrey Marcus' podcast, have read his book "Own your day, own your life," and I've taken his "Go for your win" online course.

• Commentary: I would strongly advise his book and/or his course. The information there within has been covered by self-help gurus and biohackers, but Aubrey's style of delivery makes his work very worthwhile. Personally, his book and course have helped redirect my life and choices to better myself and become the best version of me. I know, that sounds super-cliche and dumb-cheesy, but his work was the perfect material at the perfect time and I do not apologize for loving it.

Aubrey advocates for open-relationships. He and his fiance are actively exploring what they call their "open relationship experiment," and he talks a good amount about it. He argues that if, IF, you are going to use the common ideology that, "in order to optimize your greatest expression of health, you must give your genes what they 'expect'", then you must also look to how primal man/woman partook in relationships. His answer to, "How did primal man/woman partake in relationships?," is that they had, what we would call, open relationships...

• Commentary: If you want to learn more there are some great interviews with Dr. Chris Ryan, I think that's his name, on Aubrey Marcus' podcast. Dr. Ryan wrote a book detailing tribal living and sex. In the book he talks about some of the sexual rituals and relationships of tribal living. It's interesting, at the very least, and he makes a good argument.

I was going to avidly disagreed with this position. I was going to comment on how my people, the Jews (among the oldest of the civilized peoples), have been practicing marriage and monogamy for many millennia. I argued that this is because monogamy addresses the dark side of humanity, jealousy. I argued that polyamory may work in a tribal, intimate, environment, but it does not work in the close, over-crowded proximity of city life. Finally, I argued that humans evolve. We have evolved into monogamy. Monogamy has come from physical, emotional and spiritual needs to connect.

I argued all of this, and then I looked around...

Most of my friends parents are divorced. Most of my friends remain unwed or have divorced. I have friends that have lost their marriages due to an inability to "keep it in their pants," both men and woman.  I have friends that have let the ravages of time tear away at the fabric of their relationship until there was little to none left. I have watched as the people around me, "grow apart," "let it whither," and "change too much."

I thought it was because they did not put enough into the relationships. Did not communicate enough, did not show vulnerability or express their ever-changing desires. I thought it was because one or both parties stop listening and ultimately stop talking. Perhaps this is all true.

However, how many people have to fail at relationships before we realize that maybe it is the structure of the relationships that is at fault. Unreal expectations, inability to verbalize needs, and poor listening skills may just be part of being human and perhaps expecting people who are obviously not ready to commit to one person is folly... ???

I am married to a stunner of woman and we have two amazing daughters. I CANNOT begin to image being intimate with anyone else, but I do have urges, I find women attractive. I sincerely believe this is part of being human. I also sincerely believe in the commitment I made to my wife. I do not feel lessened because I deny my urges. I feel empowered. Empowered because I am in charge of my body, my mind and, most importantly, my choices. The covenant with my wife is not meant to be easy, but then again, nothing that matters is...

I guess where I end up is that I understand the argument for open relationships better than I first thought. After careful deliberation I see the arguments for polyamory to be valid on a cultural level, and also how it can productively impact the ever growing divorce-rate. However, I believe that for my person health and empowerment, for me to "win" at being me, I choose the commitment to my wife. I do so without judgment, resentment or jealously to those that choose to live differently. I have merely found what works best for me.

Thanks for reading.
DocBDC

Blog Update: "Above, Down, Inside-out, and Everything in Between"

Ok! Last name change, I promise.

When I changed the blog from "Doc B on Health & Fitness" to "Linked Life, in Style", I was trying to connect the theme while paying homage to my roots in Linked Lifestyle. Linked Lifestyle was an idea that never took shape, inspired and originated by Brian Barry and myself. We wanted to grow Linked Athletics into something bigger, something that could change lives, not just fitness levels. The idea was to create 5 aspects of health, inspired by my chiropractic education (salutagenesis) and Brian's fitness background. The result was conceptualized in the following graphic:


I am still so very proud of the hard work and thoughtfulness that went into this project. In the end, time, money and energy were the limiting resources... plus I got married and had children.

Back to the point.
I wanted to somehow link the concepts and have that "easter egg" as the title of the blog. After I made the name change, though, I was left unsettled.

My blog had become my journaling station, my thoughts and ideas made digital. It was not about health or fitness or Linked Lifestyle, no matter how much I wanted to make it so.

So I've come to the decision to "rebrand" my blog to "Above, Down, Inside-out, and Everything in Between". It is a mashup of a chiropractic philosophy epitome and a Douglas Adams books. It encompass' everything, and therefore titles this blog perfectly.

Thanks for reading,
DocBDC

Linked Life in Style Blog Update (Doc B on Health & Fitness)

I have been sticking to blogging this year! Well not a great commitment, but here it is in August and I have made a number of posts sporadically over 2018. I am calling it a win. Go me!

I am making a decision to change the format. I have already changed the name from "Doc B on Health and Fitness" to "Linked Life in Style". The title is a nod to my Linked Athletic days. Linked Athletics is a performance training center that I co-founded. After I left training to pursue mastery in my chiropractic practice, I have remained as a consultant with Linked Athletics, as well as best friends with Brian.

Back to the point, change is good and we all change constantly. The only thing that remains the same is that all things change, am I right?

My focus is going from "Health and Fitness" to my observations, anecdotes, lessons, critiques and process on anything I come across worthy of taking the time to blog. This blog is also to serve as an online journal for me to express myself. Foreseeable topics will include, but not limited to, health, fitness, wellness, mindfulness, spirituality, philosophy, disciplines of various arts, and anything else I want to immortalize into my digital "memoirs", as it were.

My goal for writing the actual content is to format the posts as if I'm writing a book or course. Within the posts will be "Commentary" that I will reserve for my personal observations, opinions and lewd language, etc. Which brings me to another point: I am going to write how I speak. I am NOT going to write as if I am ACTUALLY going to produce a book, I am going to fcuking curse and utilize lewd imagery. It will be in the style of how I speak to my friends. Like a literary dumpster fire had a baby with an 70's daisy-chain, you won't be able to turn away... or you will and it will all be for my benefit.



This is the style in which I can express myself most honestly. I will refrain from unnecessary name calling (or vulgar name calling), from unjust judgement, and behaving like a miscreant. However, I will name call in a fun way (at least funny to me), perhaps pass judgement where I deem it due, and act like myself (either professional or d-list comedian, in which I am not even that funny).

Please enjoy what is to come. If all goes well, you will enjoy reading the posts as much as I enjoy writing them. If all goes poorly, you will dislike and disagree with my posts and I will still have enjoyed writing them. Win-Win!!!

Thank You,
DocBDC

Colossus at Rogan!, Joseph James

Before you begin, know this...
This post is not a lesson. It is not going to delve into some "deeper meaning" nor how to glean a truth from tragedy. It is just a post exposing my feelings and perhaps some vulnerability. It is messy and convoluted, which does not make for a great read. It is my experience with an imagined slight that happened over a year ago by a man that I do not even know. I wrote this because I cannot seem to let it go. This is a bit of creative writing, or journaling, in order to help me process this matter and move on. If you are truly interested, perhaps you need inspiration to journal for yourself, then please, continue with my blessing. If you are not, then you have been warned about its content.Thanks for your consideration.



July 5, 2017, Joe Rogan interviewed Yvette d'Entremont (former forensic and toxicology scientist), who goes by the handle SciBabe. The interview was typical, or so I'm told, of The Joe Rogan Experience. I held no opinion of Joe's podcast, but had been a fan of Joe Rogan since his days on The Man Show. Joe is also credited as being the best color commentator in the UFC (as of 2013), and I have enjoyed his observations, as well as lengthy tangents, during UFC matches that I infrequent.

The problem arose when Joe and Yvette began to talk about chiropractic and chiropractors, my chosen profession. They spent a good bit of time, or maybe it felt like that because it resembled the podcast version of a feeding frenzy, criticizing the whole chiropractic profession, as well as degrading the chiropractic education process . At one point, Joe calls "chiropractic medicine" bullsh*t, and brings into question the legitimacy of the "doctor" part of the "doctor of chiropractic". As reference for a rebuttal, I have posted below a comparison of the education between a chiropractor and a medical doctor.



Joe has a pretty horrible personal story about his chiropractic experience. The chiropractor for whom he sought treatment did not make the proper referral for over a year. Joe trusted that his chiropractor was making the best decisions regarding Joe's chiropractic care. The story ends with Joe undergoing spinal surgery and feeling betrayed. As an aside, this is unacceptable, as well as unethical, and the chiropractor should have been disciplined for his breach of care. If a patient comes in seeking care from me with the same symptom's Joe had, which they have, I would be referring them out to a neurosurgeon before 6 weeks time, which I have done. Conservative care is not a place where a patient should get stuck if they are not getting better. So, I understand why Joe is so angry and embittered... I just do not understand why all of chiropractic must suffer your wrath.

Yvette, as I understand it and could be very wrong, left the field of forensic science and toxicology to pursue her blogging career as a self-proclaimed "bust(er) of common accepted pseudoscience". She appears on the news as an "expert", she shows up on interviews, podcasts and any other public forum she can manage. When shes not wrongfully demonizing people or their careers, she writes in her blog, probably demonizing people. At the end of the day, I do not really care about her. Any harsh commentary on this blog is actually not directed at her, not really at Joe either, but I am not wasting another word about Yvette. She's just not worth my time.

Joe's words cut me deep, and the hurt I experienced was utterly and completely my fault. I own that. For some unknown reason, I irrationally assumed, that because I was a fan of Joe's, and considered him funny, a hard worker, and relate-able-ish, that he would be a person that would own his sh#t. My impression of Joe Rogan is that he appreciated his fan base, was pretty good to people, and generally wanted the best for those that work for it. What hurt was that he was not professional in this podcast, he did NOT own his sh#t. He used his podcast as a platform to spread anger and resentment against an entire profession, instead of the one man that deserved it. Joe is a celebrity, he has hundreds of thousands of people that listen to him and follow him. Fcuk! Joe has more fans than there are chiropractors in the world. Joe Rogan's twitter account has 4.2 million followers, alone. He has influence and he used it poorly. He has influenced thousands to avoid chiropractic and chiropractors. There are a good number of Joe Rogan's fans that have commented on Reddit or Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or etc., that they will never seek chiropractic care due to Joe's opinion. Even though it was completely unjust. Can you believe that? Even if they needed chiropractic care from a chiropractor they would not seek it out based on Joe Rogan's bad experience. If a doctor, any doctor, had wrongly induced this many people, he would be brought up on charges for a breach of ethics.

In the end, it's not Joe's fault for my anger or pain, of course. It is mine! I cannot explain it well, but I think it is akin to some sort of betrayal. I have absolutely no reason to feel betrayed. I do not idolize Joe Rogan, I do not follow him on any platform, nor I have ever even met the man. I do not really care one way or the other about Joe's well-being, or lack there of. However, for some reason his unscrupulous attitude and unsportsmanlike words hurt me. They cut me deep. Here we are over a year later and I am still trying to process his vengeful narrative against my profession... against me.

-Commentary: According to an unknowing mentor of mine, the hurt stems from my own delusions and attachments. The false narrative I have told myself in order to bolster my ego against my own insecurities. He would say that this should not have affected me after all of this time and for some reason I must be attached to my pain and anger. Delusions, or "the demons" as he calls it, stem from the ego trying to protect itself from fear. That attachments are a way of defining ourselves because we do not really know who our higher self is, we are mislead by our own delusions. This leads down a road of falsehoods and self-doubt which inevitably wind up in ignorance and eventually apathy. Apathy being the natural progression from betrayal, which I feel from Joe. As you may, or may not, see this is my dark underside, my insecurities manifested. This is the tough work I am facing in order to become better, the best.-

The sweet-sweet irony is that this unknowing mentor is a business partner of Joe Rogan. Aubrey holds Joe in the highest esteem and often tells stories of Joe's anecdotes and wisdom. His constant reminder is a large reason why this Joe Rogan blog is happening. How's that for irony?

Kevin Sorbo, a hero of mine from the 90's, also has a heart wrenching story about a series of strokes he suffered, one of which seemed to occur after an adjustment with his long-time chiropractor. For those who may have forgotten, Sorbo played Hercules on a T.V. show from 1994-1999. These were formative years for me as I was a high school student and I was beginning to toy with exercise and fitness. I idolized Sorbo because of his character Hercules, his attitude toward his fans, and his physique. In an interview on October 11, 2011, Kevin Sorbo revealed that in 1997, he was 38, he began feeling pains, aches, tingling and cold running down his left arm. He was under tremendous stress to keep fit and he was on a promotion tour for his upcoming film "Kull the Conqueror." Sorbo was checked out repeatedly by doctors on the tour and was given a relatively clean-bill-of-health. The only "rational" explanation was a possible Ulnar nerve injury. He continued to workout heavily and one day he felt a worsening pain in his left shoulder. This is where he went to his long-time chiropractor. In a separate interview, Sorbo says he told his chiropractor not to adjust the neck by hand, unfortunately the chiropractor did anyway. Long story made just a little shorter, Kevin Sorbo was hospitalized the next day where the examination revealed, "severe disruption of blood flow to his lower arm caused by an aneurysm in an artery near his shoulder... Apparently, the aneurysm had been producing blood clots for some time. (He) had blockages all down his arm that were making his fingers cold, tingly, and numb." Sorbo struggled for over two years and then withdrew from film making in order to coalesce. He has since returned to films and movies, but he will not push himself that hard, again.

I tell this story because it hurt me as a chiropractor to hear that one of my own had a hand in the suffering of one of my hero's. Sorbo's life was irrevocably changed. Kevin Sorbo is a professional and a good man, however. He does not criticize chiropractic, he does not even slam the chiropractor. He tells his story just as it is. Instead of pain and betrayal, I feel inspired by Kevin's story. He seems happy and I, as well as all of his fans, want the best for him. As a chiropractor, Kevin Sorbo's story has motivated me to be better than I am; always strive to take the best care of my patients. When I get fatigued by the courses and education I continue to take, I remember that I must be the best, and that comes from better screening of my patients, as well as being a better listener. If a patient prefers or levels a concern about my adjustment technique, I hear them and accommodate. I do all of this because I listened and learned from Kevin Sorbo's story.

I do not feel so motivated by Joe Rogan's story. When I remember his tale, I am angry and bitter because he has reacted like such an ass, in public, as a celebrity, in a closed forum. I strive to be better and to be the best diagnostician, to be the best doctor, that I can possible be, but instead of doing it as an inspired doctor, as with Kevin Sorbo, I have to force myself when I think of Rogan, like a rebelling teenager.

If you have gotten this far, Thank You. You may be asking, "How does this rant relate to health and fitness?"
Great question!
I could offer up some sort of explanation on the processing of emotions, or journaling, or some other such tidbit that I might be able to glean from the blog post above. However, the fact is that I am utilizing my blog to vent. Just to process my emotions by utilizing the tools at my disposal, and maybe, just maybe, inspire someone along the way.

Thank you for reading,
DocBDC

P.S.
This post took over 3 days to write. I spent most of my time deleting the garbage that came spilling out onto the page. I tried to give this subject, which is a dense subject matter for me, ample time before I posted into the world. It remains imperfect and messy. I am not changing it. Even if I come back to it and realize that this post was written in anger and while I was "off-rail", I will not change it. It will remain as a testament to this moment in time in my life.

Just past my Birthday, 2018!!

Today is the day just after my Birthday. It was a good birthday, low-key, and spent with my family. My mother took my wife and I to my favorite Indian buffet. My wife and kids made cards and decorated the house. It was great!


I was able to reflect just a little bit on my life, especially the last 7-8 weeks. My wife came through major surgery and is healing like a BOSS! Both of my children started the respective schools and they both seem to be doing really well, which is such a relief. My blood pressure medication was recalled because a manufacturer began putting in a "cheaper" chemical to lower the bottom-line; turns out this chemical causes cancer. Thanks for the cancer, made-in-fcuking-China diovan.

• The worst thing about that last one is that neither my nephrologist's office  nor my pharmacy called to tell me about the recall. I had called the Kroger pharmacy over a month ago to check on the recall, you know, to avoid cancer, but they assured me that the manufacturer of the diovan I was taking was not the one that was recalled... I guess I got the "new guy" pharmacy tech who doesn't know his ass from his head. Thanks for the cancer "Steve".

Finally, I came to lie down with my wife, and kids, and the end of the day. I had a great workout, the kids were happy, and my wife was proud of herself for pulling off my "secret birthday gift". It was awesome and life is good. 

Take a moment, it only takes a few at most, and reflect on your own life. Are you appreciating the little things? The "little people" in it? Are you avoiding cancer? Are your medications or supplements sourced from clean and pure places? Are you proud of yourself? Proud of your spouse? Your kids? Did you workout today? At the very least, did you move about? Did you eat cleanly in order to properly fuel your body-temple, your body-performance vehicle? Did you challenge your mind? Did you win at something? Did you win your day? Did you celebrate you? Tell yourself that you are proud of yourself for something? ANYTHING?

Quite your mind. Feel your body. Sense everything around you. Feel your connection to all of ebbs and flows of this moment. Just breathe. Now smile...

Thank you for reading,

DocBDC