How did I come to this place? What brought me to care about health? About fitness?
Why I care about other people's health and fitness is covered in another blog, this is my story.
Let us begin my story sometime between 10 and 12 years of age. I was in the torrent of preadolescence and middle school. I was beginning to put on weight, the kind of weight that gets noticed by un-evolved, tortured young minds and I was definitely ridiculed. Of course, I tried not to let it show, so I became a wallflower. My mother vividly remembers all of the accolades made by teachers extolling how "well behaved" I was. My mother would retort, "He's not well behaved, he's scared. There's a difference!"
This, though, was only the back drop of my story. My story really begins in the examination room of Atlanta's premier pediatric nephrologist (kidney doctor). He was second to none in his field, a field where few dare to venture. He was lean, tall (as I remember him), and walked with such an air of confidence. He spoke in a way that was very knowledgeable, self-important, and almost prophetic. I remember not one ounce of gentleness in his manner, voice or words. He was very clear that my kidney, my solitary injured kidney, would more than likely become something I would need to manage and treat as I got older. He did not seem to care, or be aware, that I hated coming to the doctor, hated the needles and medication, and especially hated being told that I am somehow more fragile than the other kids and cannot, under any circumstances, play sports. He would remind me on almost every visit that the science of medicine would only get better as I got older and by the time I was in my mid-thirties, there would be great treatments available to keep me going strong... Guess what does not exist in the way he promised, by the way?...
He told this to a preteen that was entering a time of hormones and self-loathing. He told this to someone who had come to "understand" that either I am not going to live as long as everyone else, or I would be undergoing medical intervention for the latter two-thirds of my life. I chose very early that I was not going to be under medical management just to waste away a little slower, nor was I going to condemn anyone else to a life of a solitary kidney; I would not let anyone give me one of theirs. The only conclusion to an adolescent who has made these decisions is that I will not be alive by forty. That I would let myself expire sometime in my mid-thirties. If you do not understand this decision then clearly you do not remember being a teenager.
This lead to many bad decisions over the next two and a half decades. What does someone do if they believe they have an expiration date? I know what I did: I drank too much, I ate too much, I played college hockey, I was a power-lifter for about 3 years, I went to college of over 15 years, I created insurmountable student loan debt, I dated casually and often, I stayed up too late, I worked too much, I created two new businesses without capital nor a good plan, I partied too hard and for too long, I abused myself physically, I did not push myself enough mentally, and I did not grow quick enough emotionally. Now I challenge you to turn an honest critical eye onto yourself and your exploits during your twenties. Not easy, nor pretty is it?
I graduated chiropractic school and began working at Sandy Plains Chiropractic when I was 33 and co-founded Linked Athletics two years later. At this point, I had matured enough to understand that I was not going to die at 35 years of age, but as most of us know, it's hard to shake the programming of the past. I worked 80-120 hours per week for 3 years, supplementing work for my lack of family life. In summer of 2013, I made the decision to continue learning in my 2 fields of study, chiropractic science and species specific movement strategies. I wanted to gain some form of mastery in my work life, since it was all that I had.
Next thing I know, I arriving at 40 with a wife and 2 daughters. My health is "fair to midland", and my career is taking shape. I had to leave Linked Athletics a few years ago, so all of my attentions have been turned to mastery of chiropractic and health/fitness. Unfortunately, I am in pain most of the year with gout attacks (I will write more on gout some other time). About 40 percent of 2 years ago, 50 percent of last year and 60 percent of this year I am in gout driven pain. Due to the pain, I cannot walk or exercise, which is making it difficult to lose weight. I am also discovering that exercise, even mild to moderate, creates enough of a metabolic demand to cause a gout attack. There is also some anecdotal evidence to suggest that "buring fat" can fire-up a gout attack, perhaps due to the release of trapped "toxins" in the fat stores or the increased metabolic load being dumped into the blood, I'm not sure. What I do know, getting healthier is super-difficult and I'm in pain, often.
This is why I'm constantly learning. Learning about salutogenisis (that which creates health), homeostasis vs. allostasis, species specific movement for health & fitness (lifting, balance, resistance (dynamic and static), movement/kinesiology, stretching, etc.), primary spine care, primal/paleo living, and kidney health.
As with a conversation I recently had with my wife, "I'm not filled to the brim with health and vitality. I'm not getting more energy every year, I'm losing more. I'm not getting healthier, but instead, slowing sinking further into dysfunction and debilitation. One thing I've learned above all else since reaching 40, it goes downhill, especially when you have a chronic illness like chronic kidney disease. This is the best I'll be from now looking forward. I'm not miserable, I live a blessed life, but so far the evidence is pointing to the fact that, since I cannot do everything now, I will not be doing more later."
Before, health & fitness became a motivation because it was my business, and it seemed to elude me. I wanted mastery of the best and most current information and evidence in order to provide for my patients and clients. I also wanted to understand more for my own edification.
Now, though, my future is unclear as to whether I will be able to stay in practice. I have a family to consider and support. My motivation to learning health & fitness is to create opportunities in which to continue earning even if I cannot physically perform in practice. This is a powerful motivator and I've found myself considering career paths as an educator, taking a hospital/medical profession position of some kind, or even changing careers all together (not ideal).
This summary of my life has been the most difficult blog to write, up to date. I do not reveal my inner demons to my patients nor my friends. I read once that, "85% of people don't really care about your problems, the other 15% are just glad your problems are not theirs." While this is a grim view as to the human condition, for a moment, even just for a moment, you considered this to be true. So I write this entry to tell my story on a blog that no one reads, win-win!
Thanks for reading,
DocBDC
